Saturday, January 28, 2012

Again...

It's been few days since the incident.. I never think that it took me so long to calm down myself.. Forgive and forget is a hard thing to decide. I never think that I will need to face this kind of decision. Some people may think it is easy to forget and forgive. For me, it's easy to forgive than forget. As for forgive, I just need to say,' I'm sorry for what had happened.' As for forget, erm...., it's hard. It's hard for me to forget people's bad. When it happened you will remember for a long time.

After posting the last blog that I wrote before the CNY, she pm me on FB. Explaining what she feel and thoughts. When I read it during the CNY, 2nd day of CNY, I was like 'Oh, it's my fault.' I have make this kind of mess happen. I was like sad when I received the message during CNY and she's not only pm me also pm 2 other friends. That's make me fee bad for them as they are still enjoying the festive and holidays. I feel guilty on that.

After that, I just pm her back to tell her about my feelings. As I want to totally be clear to her. When I read the reply, again, is 'Oh, it's my fault again.' I never feel like this before. Straightaway I leave the conversation and delete the message. I kept telling myself to cool down and forget about it. I forgive her.

However, when recall back on what had happen today, I think to forget about it is really hard. When things keep on repeat and repeat you will also be mad and angry. I thought today everything will be go back to normal, at least what I have hope for. But, imagination is different from reality. Maybe I really need to learn how to forget. Few more days need to get back to office. Deadline coming soon.. Busy and stress day will be arrive..

Go.. Go.. Go... I will not be beat up by this... I will survive...

Thought For Days

Everything I See Is Precious
Let me learn to keep myself in a positive frame of mind and look for the beauty or benefit in everything that happens.

Becoming Great
The elevated aim of doing more and speaking less will make you great.

The Power of Truth
The power of Truth is such that you need never be concerned about proving it. You need only be concerned with being it and living it. Truth is always revealed, at the right moment, at the right place.

Depth of Humility
Humility means to understand the self and through that to understand others as well. Humility is the attitude where a person is not attached to his or her opinion and feelings. Humility is the most natural expression of truth. It helps in better understanding of truth. Humility is the basis for maintaining self-respect. Humility does not mean bowing down and being subservient to others. Humility allows you to see benefit in everything. Developing humility brings a lot of comfort and ease into your life

True Wealth
Even more valuable than physical wealth is the wealth of spiritual love.

Take A Moment
Take a moment whenever you remember just to stop. Be still and silent. Sense the quietness of that moment and visualise yourself stepping into an ocean of calm. Submerge your whole being in the quiet waters. As the waves of that calm ebb and flow, begin to unburden yourself. Slip into that place of no thinking and become completely still. Now, in that stillness, become aware of your 'original' self. This is the real, true you. Let it appear quietly but brilliantly. After some moments, emerge from the still waters and try to retain an awareness of the true you as you go back to your everyday affairs.

Incense Stick
Some people say that it is very difficult to be positive in this highly negative world. But just as an incense stick spreads fragrance everywhere and dispels bad odour, the power of constantly pure and positive thoughts can transform the negative attitudes and atmosphere of any person or place.

Talk Lovingly To Yourself
Learning to talk properly to the self is a spiritual endeavour. When you make a mistake, do you talk lovingly to yourself in your mind, or do you tell yourself off? One habit recognises your divinity; the other subtly shapes a nature of sorrow.

Determination
Determination is an unbroken line, a backbone. Without determination life becomes scattered. Determination makes you sit up straight and love everything.

Harmony
Love dissolves hate. Kindness melts cruelty. Compassion calms passion. Co-operation evokes love and when we bow, others bend. This creates harmony.

Here Is An Angel
How can we serve others around us? By making our lives inspirational and interacting with tact and wisdom. We should be so cheerful, and our lives such examples, that they say 'Here is an angel.'

Positive Attitude
See and hear every person and every situation with a positive attitude. By thinking that everything is good, everything becomes good. Make the attitude of your mind good and powerful and even something bad will become good.

Just Having Fun
Work without happiness is like a burden that you have to endure, but when you are internally happy it becomes a game, and you're just having fun.

Power To Tolerate
You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence. It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving. And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.

Smile And Say "Hello".
In life you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello".

Trust yourself
You must begin to trust yourself. If you do not then you will forever be looking to others to prove your own merit to you and you will never be satisfied. You will always be asking others what to do, and at the same time resenting those from whom you seek such aid.

Busy People
We live in the age of ‘busy’. Busy people not only do a lot, they think a lot. Being lost in thought, is not only tiring and a brilliant way of waste energy, it’s as if we have forgotten the very ground of our being which is still and silent. Learn to meditate and turn the eye of your attention and awareness within, let your mind be quiet and allow your being to be still. You will realize outer space is but a reflection of inner space. Both are vast and infinitely spacious.

Walk Quickly
Walk quickly today, not because you are in a hurry, but because you value the exercise for legs and heart. As you walk, allow your thoughts to visit you, but not stay. Let them come to pass, and you will be surprised how quickly they become positive, and filled with creative ideas. And paradoxically, if you stay internally aware, you may notice that the quicker you walk, the more your thinking slows down and deepens. Walking briskly and positive thinking - that's the simplest way to take care of body and mind. And life was meant to be simple...wasn't it?

True Peace
True peace can be experienced only when we stop giving and taking sorrow. In order not to give sorrow we need a clear heart that has no ill feelings and for not taking sorrow we need a big heart that can tolerate and help other souls to get over their weaknesses.

Determination and Patience
Determination is the strength that will enable you to pass the barrier of useless thoughts in order to create positive thoughts and to be successful in whatever you wish. It comes from within and its partner is patience. Patience teaches you not to push but rather to wait and appreciate the game of life instead, knowing that nothing remains the same, and everything will change at some point.

Happiness Is Your Property
No matter what adverse situations come in front of you, no matter how many obstacles come in front of you, your happiness should not disappear. An obstacle that comes will also go away. That obstacle comes and goes away but what belongs to you should not go. So, happiness is your property. Whenever an obstacle comes, just think that it has come to go away. When a guest comes to your home, it isn't that he has come as a guest and will go away having taken everything from your home. So an obstacle has come and it will go away but it should not take away your happiness. Happiness should always remain with you.

Angel Face
An angel's face is still because there are no lies inside. Truth makes it a straight, simple face whose beauty lies not in its form but in the feeling it gives you.

Happy New Year
Give birth to new possibilities through your ability to reach into the future and let go of the past.

Celebration
Everyday is a celebration because instead of waiting for happy endings, we open our eyes to the wonder of life, to see the humour and magic in each moment. Delighted in the way things turn out, amazed at the beauty of it all.

Transform Obstacles
Is life an obstacle course? Sometimes it may feel like it. If you join the military you will be sent around an obstacle course of increasing degrees of difficulty. Why? To increase your strength and stamina and expand your creative capacity under strain. So it is on the course called 'life' - you can choose to perceive people, situations or events as obstacles, or you can choose to use these things to strengthen and expand your capacity to be creative and to find ways round, under, over. The choice lies in your perception. Obstacles are never ever 'out there', they are always in our own minds.

Creating Thoughts Of Benefit
Acts of virtue emerge from deep within, from an inner sanctuary of silence from which inspiration flows. Every action has its seed in a thought and every thought is a creation of the thinker, the soul. I choose what thoughts I want to create and as is my thinking so are my actions and also my experience in life. Going within, I touch the stillness and pure love that lie at the core of my being and every thought that I create is of benefit to myself and of benefit to humanity

Like An Angel
Acceptance gives me the experience of being like an angel: never judging, never criticising and never worrying.

Working on Rebuilding Relationships
It’s easy to speak negatively when we do not like something about someone. We often react without thinking and become angry. Our words and behaviour become negative or insulting. This further widens the gap damaging the relationship. When someone does something undesirable. I first need to understand the behaviour. Every person has a reason to behave the way he or she does even if I cannot understand it at the time. The more I react to the other person and the bad behaviour, the greater the distance between us. To mend the relationship I need to remind myself of the other person’s good qualities

Trustee Consciousness
We all have a relationship with everything. Obviously the relationship we have with the people and objects in our immediate vicinity is more intimate than the rest of the world. For most of us the most common relationship is possession. In our minds we think we own and possess things like cars and houses and carpets and golf clubs etc. This thinking easily spreads into jobs and tasks and positions and perhaps even other people. "I want you", and "You are mine alone", is the essence of many romantic film scripts and song lyrics. What we forget is that this relationship is wrong. It is not possible to possess anything. Care for..yes. Use...yes. But possess...no. You can't take it with you when you go, so we say! And yet it's the idea of possession which lies at the heart of all fear, war and conflict. Can you see it? Fear of loss, fear of not acquiring what we have already decided is ours in our minds. So what is a better relationship we can choose which takes all the fear away. Be a trustee. Everything comes to us in trust, for us to use and then to set it free. The consciousness of trustee sets us free of the tension of grasping and guarding. To see ourselves as trustees of everything that we receive, including our bodies, encourages our innate capacity to 'care for with dignity'. It is a much more relaxing way of relating to the things which we are privileged to receive in life.

Learn Meditation
Why has meditation been the core practice of all wisdom paths for over two thousand years? Because it is the most effective method to access your innate wisdom, rediscover inner peace and enhance your creative ability. Meditation restores well being, and once your being is well again, all that you do will be successful and fulfilling. But maybe you think you are OK as you are. Perhaps you feel your being is well. But is it? Do you feel tense, worried, hopeless, mentally tired, emotionally upset...ever? Then your being is not well. Your body may be OK but you, the being, is unwell. Medication is for the body, and meditation is for the soul, that's you, and for your mind. Learning how to meditate is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. Practising meditation says you care about yourself. Being in meditation can touch the minds and hearts of others a thousand miles away. It actually says that you care about others too. But first...your self.

Happiness
You are a fortunate soul who realizes that the path to happiness cannot be walked in someone else's shoes. Your happiness fits you alone - perfectly.

Courage
Do not become discouraged in the face of adversity. Understand that the bigger the heart, the bigger the obstacles it is asked to accommodate.

Flexibility
With humility and love, flexibility becomes natural. When I come across someone who is not being co-operative I need to become humble and try to understand what the other person is communicating, If not through words at least through actions. When I am able to listen with love and understanding, I will not be rigid anymore but will be able to adapt to communicate and co-operate with others.

Banish Worry
Worry is otherwise known as 'fantasised catastrophising' where we create an image of the future and use it to frighten ourselves! Be aware that you are doing it, then stop doing it, otherwise the image will become a self fulfilling prophesy. Imagine only the brightest future, and so it will be. Besides there is nothing to worry about... unless you are under the illusion that your well-being and security are dependent on material things. If they are, then you will have many ways in which you can create worry. Possible loss, damage, separation, uncertainty are but a few. Look, you're killing yourself with worry, all because of the misuse of your imagination. Don't do it.

Caring Heart
I express my care and concern by responding to situations with a cool head and to people with a warm heart. If I remain aware that as fellow human beings we are all part of one family, and that even the smallest of gestures can make a difference in people's lives, I am always blessed with a caring heart. It takes so little to show that I care yet it can mean so much.

True Happiness
There is no nourishment like happiness - it's an elixir. There is no sickness like sorrow - it's a poison. The experience of true happiness cures the sickness of sorrow. A cheerful face goes a long way towards making everything better!



Friday, January 20, 2012

#?**&!!!!!

Today, I really like someone take a sharp needle kept on poking my heart. FB is a place for someone to say out their thoughts and comments. I never think that I will be on the comments. This afternoon when I saw it I was like is this me... Is this me who that's she is saying about.

Pressure keeps on increase when I continue stay in the office. Maybe what other says is correct, workplace is not really a good place when there are so much of people especially everyone comes from different background. Conflicts arise when opinions crashed with each other.

In my opinion, I maybe think that I was not wrong. But, I really is not wrong. Maybe I'm not satisfied with the way of her of doing her works. Keep on delaying.. Assigning her assignments to others. When I think of that I was really pissed off. Dissatisfaction.. I shouldn't be complain in front of colleagues and manager. I should have keep to myself and pretend it never happen. Why she never think why I act like this. What make me change the way I treat her. Is this my fault? Why? Why? Why?

But most importantly I never think that she say she will talk to the manager (another one). What will she be talking to the manager. The bads or just her work. I will never know. The thoughts of leaving has kept on appear on my minds. 60% - 40%; 50% - 50%; 80% - 20%..

Haii... Chinese New Year is coming soon.. One of the No's in CNY is no arguing or fighting. Hard to avoid.. I never think that it will turn up like this. Is this a sign for me?? Fade up..

Now, what I can do is to try to forget about that... Stay far far away from her...

"
BAD THURSDAY & FRIDAY~ VERY VERY ANGRY AR... *ARGH* WTF... !@#$% pissed me off qin qin... i jez hope u can SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND STAY FAR FAR AWAY FROM ME!!! DON SHOW ME YOUR CHARCOAL FACE... really BULLSHYT!!!! !@#$%^
"

".. but SOMEONE... i wonder how many bucket of ICE i need now.. really PISSED OFF ler.. I feel like tell them off... REALLY PEK CEK ar.... BULLSHYT~ !@@##@$#@%#$%"

I show her charcoal face.. Why she never think that she is the one who also show me her charcoal face. I deal with it for so long. She just deal once. 1 - 1++.. I really disappointed on her. She shouldn't post it on FB.. She shouldn't be like that.. Haii....