Again...

It's been few days since the incident.. I never think that it took me so long to calm down myself.. Forgive and forget is a hard thing to decide. I never think that I will need to face this kind of decision. Some people may think it is easy to forget and forgive. For me, it's easy to forgive than forget. As for forgive, I just need to say,' I'm sorry for what had happened.' As for forget, erm...., it's hard. It's hard for me to forget people's bad. When it happened you will remember for a long time.

After posting the last blog that I wrote before the CNY, she pm me on FB. Explaining what she feel and thoughts. When I read it during the CNY, 2nd day of CNY, I was like 'Oh, it's my fault.' I have make this kind of mess happen. I was like sad when I received the message during CNY and she's not only pm me also pm 2 other friends. That's make me fee bad for them as they are still enjoying the festive and holidays. I feel guilty on that.

After that, I just pm her back to tell her about my feelings. As I want to totally be clear to her. When I read the reply, again, is 'Oh, it's my fault again.' I never feel like this before. Straightaway I leave the conversation and delete the message. I kept telling myself to cool down and forget about it. I forgive her.

However, when recall back on what had happen today, I think to forget about it is really hard. When things keep on repeat and repeat you will also be mad and angry. I thought today everything will be go back to normal, at least what I have hope for. But, imagination is different from reality. Maybe I really need to learn how to forget. Few more days need to get back to office. Deadline coming soon.. Busy and stress day will be arrive..

Go.. Go.. Go... I will not be beat up by this... I will survive...